


Queer Eye For The (mostly) Straight Guy

by SherlockedGinger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - Freeform, Winchesters - Freeform, tragic backstory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:59:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockedGinger/pseuds/SherlockedGinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the TV series Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Sam signs Dean up for a make-over by the Fab Five.  Dean is pissed off at having five gay men tell him how to run his life, or at least his wardrobe, until he gets to spend more time with the blue-eyed Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched Queer Eye you should still be able to follow and enjoy the story, but it's more fun if you know what this is based off of. So if you can, I suggest you watch it. It's hysterical and I love it. Also this story is just for fun and may drift into crack! - so just be warned.

“So what’ve we got this time?” Samandriel asked from the back seat, running a hand thoughtlessly through his hair, ruffling it up into a sandy poof.

 

Castiel leaned away from his elbow as it came dangerously close to his face before prompting “Gabriel, you have the file - Who is this week’s candidate?”

 

Gabriel grinned and flipped the file open, laughing as Balthazar crowded closer to him and murmured “Yes, who’s our newest victim?”

 

“His name is Dean or something, right?” Lucifer shouted from his place in the driver’s seat.

 

“Dean Winchester” Balthazar read from the paper in Gabriel’s hand. “He’s 34, from Kansas and his brother has just gotten engaged and moved out -”

 

“Winchester?” Castiel interrupts “Interesting surname. There’s a company that manufactures firearms named Winchester. I wonder if there’s any relation...” he muses.

 

Gabriel smirks as he pulls a picture of Dean from the file and says “He looks like one hell of a _pistol_ to me” This raises laughs from Balthazar and Lucifer, whilst Castiel simply rolls his eyes.

 

“ _Oh!_ It seems it’s his brother, Sam, who set him up for this.” Gabriel adds, scanning the file over Balthazar’s shoulder.

 

There’s cheery laughter from all, save Castiel whose brows furrow at the idea of popping into someone life like this without consent. None of the others seem bothered by this however, and continue reading through his profile

 

“He’s been living with his brother for several years and now that he’s moving out he wants Dean to turn a new leaf and he thinks this is a good way to start the process.” Balthazar reads and Samandriel and Gabriel gives little claps at that.

 

“Interesting...” Balthazar murmurs, scanning the small bio Sam submitted about his brother.

 

“What?” Everybody prompts simultaneously. Or rather Castile and Samandriel prompt. Everybody else demands.

 

Now it’s Balthazar’s turn to smirk “Dean here works as a mechanic-” A few wolf-whistles and catcalls from Lucifer and Gabriel drown out his words for a moment “Alright, shut up the lot of you and let me finish” Balthazar reprimands and they fall silent “As I was saying, Dean works as a mechanic, listens to classic rock, drinks far too often and I quote ‘never lets a woman walk by without a wink or a smile’’ - Is it just me or does it sound like Mr. Winchester is trying too hard?” Balthazar finishes.

 

A wicked grin stretches Gabriel’s face while Lucifer laughs and says “Wishful thinking there, Balth. We all know about your fantasy of outing someone before they’ve even outed to themselves”

 

Castiel shakes his head and looks out the window. He loves these guys, honestly he does, they’re his best friends - practically family. But they can be coarse and vulgar, particularly when it comes to other men, straight men, and he wishes they would show a bit more respect.

 

Perhaps Dean Winchester isn’t entirely straight, but it isn’t any of their concern. They’re here to help him embark on another chapter of his life. Not to make him re-evaluate his sexual preferences.

 

But he knows if he voices these thought’s he will be ignored so instead he simply says “We are getting close - perhaps we should begin to formulate a plan for the evening.”

 

Someone mumbles about him being a slave driver and spoiling the fun, but they all concede and Castiel is relieved to have spared Dean more mocking.

 

“So I’m thinking a nice simple dinner party” Samandriel suggest and they nod in agreement.

 

“Yeah - invite some friends and family over - a girl if he’s got one - he can show of his swanky new place and his fantastic cooking skills.” Gabriel says.

 

Balthazar smiles and counters “You mean the fantastic cooking skills I’m going to bestow upon him?”

 

“Exactly. And of course I’ll be giving him the swanky decor” Gabriel answers with a grin.

 

“And don’t forget the wicked new wardrobe he’ll have from me” Lucifer chimed in.

 

Castiel joins in the good-natured laughter politely, though he isn’t paying much attention. Instead he’s trying to decide what his role in the evening will be.

 

The others have fairly straightforward jobs. Gabriel does the interior design and handles the organization and redecoration of the home. Painting, new furniter, chic art, that sort of thing

 

Balthazar is the chef and he teaches simple culinary techniques and easy recipes for serving at parties or cookouts and helps to restock the kitchen with proper foods.

 

Lucifer is in charge of the wardrobe which is usually where the largest transformation is made.

 

Samandriel is in charge of personal grooming. If their hair needs to be restyled or they need a new skin-care regimen then he’s on the case.

 

But Castiel, as the Cultural Specialist - or “Civilizer” as Gabriel prefers to call him - what he does varies based on the cases.

 

Sometimes it’s teaching someone how to dance so he can take his wife out for a nice evening. Other times it’s giving pointers in the art of conversation. It all varies based on what’s needed.

 

“Oh - here, Luci - Turn - HERE!” Gabriel shouts at Lucifer, gesturing to the right, toward and older apartment complex and Lucifer cuts the wheel sharply swearing as he does so.

 

This raises laughs from everyone save Castiel who ends up with a lapful of Samandriel as he’s tossed to the side by the sudden swerve.

 

“Sorry” Samandriel laughs and straightens himself up, but Castiel waves the apology off.

 

Balthazar flips the file closed and scrambles out of the car as soon as it stops, with Gabriel close behind. Castiel and Samandriel follow a bit slower with Lucifer bringing up the rear.

“Alright - let’s go meet Dean-o!” Gabriel says with a grin.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dean’s phone is what wakes him. He’s in the middle of a dream, more of a nightmare really, and he’s fighting for his life against some weird-ass spirit that’s trying to beat his head in with a porcelain doll. Those thing have always given him the creeps.

 

At first he doesn’t understand why rifts from Smoke On The Water are suddenly floating through his mind and he glances around in his dream, searching for the source of the music. Then it hits him, it’s his phone ringing and he realises it’s his alarm going off. Just as that thought floats through his mind he snaps awake with a small shout.

 

He fights off the tangled mess of blankets half-covering his form and end up shoving them of the bed into a crumpled pile. He yawns and fumbles for his phone from it’s place on the bedside table, where it’s still cranking out the guitar solo.

 

He flips it open and realizes it’s Sammy. He groans and glances at his bedside clock before grumbling “Hello”

 

Sam’s voice comes back with a laugh “Hello, yourself. Are you still in bed, Dean - it’s almost ten, dude!”

 

Dean stifles another yawn and says “Shut-up - it’s not like I’ve got any reason to be up early.”

 

There’s a definite smirk in Sam’s voice when he counters “Well you do this morning. I suggest you hurry up and get dressed - they’re gonna be there soon.”

 

Dean scowls in thought, wondering what Sam is talking about. He quickly reviews their past few conversation in his mind, searching for a clue as to who Sam is talking about. Nothing clicks.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” he questions, though he’s already swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

 

Sam laughs and Dean thinks he can hear the murmur of Jessica’s voice in the background, sounding amused as well.

 

“Sam?” Dean prompts.

 

“It’s a surprise, Dean. I can’t tell you anything other than that you need to dress - now - and get yourself a quick cup of coffee - you’re gonna need it.” Sam answers.

 

“Dammit, Sammy - what is going on?” Dean grumbles, running a hand through his hair in  exasperation.

 

“You’ll see” Sam says, then adds “Be nice - Bye, Dean” before hanging up.

 

“Sam!” Dean growls into the phone, but all he gets in answer is static. He swears under his breath and snaps the phone shut with a sigh.

 

He adores the kid, really he does. Sam has been the focus of his life for so long he doesn’t even know what to do with himself now that Sam doesn’t need him anymore.

 

But sometimes Sam drives him up the wall and this is one of those times. Judging by what Sam was saying he’s sent someone or a few someones to his place. But for what? And why did he sound so smug about it?

 

Was he dragging Dean into wedding plans or something? Oh, god I hope he doesn’t expect me to go suit shopping with all his Stanford pals or-

 

The sharp ring of his doorbell pierces his thoughts before his door is being bombarded by multiple fists. “Freakin hell!” he shouts, grabbing a pair of jeans he’d tossed on the floor a few nights ago and yanking them on.

 

He doesn’t bother looking for a fresh shirt or fixing his hair and instead gallops down the hall, shouting “Hold on a minute - for christ’s sake!”

  
He gives himself a brief shake, cursing Sam under his breath one last time before opening the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel is towards the back of the pack, staying out of the revelry as much as possible. He doesn't want to get jostled and really it's simply easier to wait until his friends have crowded through the door and then step inside, rather than fighting through the mass of limbs for a space to witness their newest client first.  
  
There is an exasperated shout from behind the door and a swear as the hear him running to the door from the other side.  
  
Wicked grins erupt among his friends at the sound of Dean's deep and gravelly voice. "This is going to be  _delicious_ " Gabriel whispers.  
  
Castiel shakes his head at them, but understands their attraction. It's a lovely voice, even strained in a tone of annoyance.  
  
A moment later the door opens and he glimpses a faded, black Led Zeppelin shirt and baggy jeans, before his friends let out low whistles and crowd into Dean's apartment with barely a word of explanation to him.  
  
Castiel enters last, stepping calmly over the threshold and comes face-to-face with a bewildered Dean.  
  
He freezes for a brief moment at the sight of him. His angular cheekbones are darkened by stubble and his hair is an erratic mess of chestnut hair. He must've just awoken  
  
Wide green eyes peer out from furrowed brows and Castiel is struck by the spectrum of color they hold. Dean is far more attractive than his picture let on and Castiel swallows hard.  
  
He quickly composes himself though, and just in time too, because Dean has regained his voice.  
  
"What - who -what the  _fucking hell_  is going on?!" Dean demands as Balthazar darts towards the kitchen and Gabriel begins rustling through a messy pile in the living area.  
  
Samandriel and Lucifer disappear to the back of the apartment in search of Dean's room.  
  
Castiel lays a gentle, calming hand on his arm "This is all easily explained." he reassures him, with a small smile.  
  
"Then start explaining!" Dean demands flinching away from Castiel's touch.  
  
Castiel lets his arm fall and does his best to take no offense. "My name is Castiel, and I am a member of the Fab Five" he began  
  
"The - the Fab Five?!" Dean stutters out, color draining from his face. "He fucking didn't" he grinds out and that is all Castiel gets from him before Dean is storming away from him, snapping his cell phone open.  
  
Castiel watches him mutely for a few moments, worrying his bottom lip. He has a feeling that this isn't going to go well. Dean is obviously very displeased and his friends are being more obnoxious and raucous than usual.  
  
He can hear Balthazar swearing from the kitchen and Gabriel is making a disaster of the living room, tipping furniture and shouting over the crinkled AC/DC posters hanging on the walls.  
  
                                                                                                                       * * * * * * * *  
  
  
Dean is fuming. He can't believe Sam set him up for this.  _That bastard_ , he curses to himself. He'd been confused as hell when he'd opened the door to find five vaguely familiar men crowding at his door, but now he knows  _exactly_  what's going on.  
  
Jess is a huge fan of the show and it's on most of the time at her apartment. He and Sam have been forced to sit through quite a few episodes. Bunch of gay guys are hired to help make-over some poor son-of-a-bitch whose friends or family have decided he needs an extra hand.  
  
Sam actually grew to enjoy the damn show, and took tips from them, like rolling up his sleeves to just the right length and changing his hair product.  
  
Though Dean grudgingly admitted their skill when he saw the end results of the episodes, he still thought the whole thing was messed up. And now Sam has signed him up for it. There will be hell to pay.  
  
He dials quickly and waits as it rings. There's chaos around him and something crashes in the kitchen. He glances behind him and notices Castiel rushing towards the sound with an exasperated expression and hears a reprimand from him and a plea for calm.  
  
"Hey, you've reached Sam-" Dean swears under his breath as it goes to voice-mail. "I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll call you back as soon as I can" ...Beep...  
  
"Sam, you little son-of-a-bitch I can't believe you did this to me! I-" He is suddenly cut off, when a hand grabs his phone and a sing-song voice says from behind him.  
  
"Uh-uh- no need to hate on your little bro for this! He's doing you a favor, Dean-O" Dean spins around to face one of the guys, who has long hair and hazel eyes. If he remembers correctly his name is Gabien or something.  
  
"Give it!" Dean snaps, launching at him, arms outstretched, but Gabien or whatever jumps gracefully aside with a laugh.  
  
"Gabriel, return Dean's phone to his possession." A calm, but firm voice commands from the doorway. It's Castiel.  
  
 _Gabriel_. That's right. Dean suppose it must be meant as an ironic name, because there is nothing remotely angelic about that asshat.  
  
Gabriel pouts "You're no fun, Cassie" but relents, tossing Dean's phone back to him and wandering off towards Dean's room.  
  
Dean catches it with ease and gives Castiel a small smile "Thanks for that. Guess you're not as much of a dick as the rest of them." he says, sliding his phone into his pocket.  
  
Castiel furrows his brow as if he doesn't understand and Dean waves his hand in a gesture that indicates it doesn't matter.  
  
He can feel the anger slowly seeping from him, and leaving a tired resignation in its place. Sam has signed him up for this and there is no way he's getting out of it.  _Just gotta bite the bullet_  
  
"Okay, Cas - guess you should introduce me to the rest of your gang"


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel wants to bury his face in his hands. Or knock his friend's heads together. They should at least be more respectful of Dean and his home, since he wasn't the one who invited them into it.

Instead they seem to be taking a perverse delight in creating more chaos than usual.

He's already had words with Balthazar about breaking a few pieces of Dean's impressive collection of shot glasses. "But look at all these, Cassie it's _ridiculous_ , really. He could be opening a bar, for Christ's sake"

 

Castiel reminding him that he's there to help Dean learn how to cook, not to comment on his hobbies. Balthazar muttered something about that fact that slowly destroying your liver isn't a hobby but relented and went back to rummaging through the pantry.

 

Of course that's the moment when he heard Dean and Gabriel having a heated discussion and had to intervene. Gabriel has taken a shine to Dean and that means he's going to be even more bothersome and childish than usual.

 

Once Gabriel leaves he expects anger from Dean. Demands to leave the house, or threats to call the police. Something befitting his obvious anger at the situation.

But Dean pleasantly surprises him by accepting his fate and asking Castiel to introduce him to everyone.

 

Even more surprising is what he calls him. "Cas?" he questions, in mild confusion before he can stop himself. No one has ever called him that before.

 

Dean seems vaguely embarrassed at his slip-up and says "Oh - uh, sorry, man. Just thought, you know - Castiel - Cas..." by way of an explanation and apology.

 

Castiel simply shrugs and assures him "I do not mind. I've simply never been called that before."

 

Now it's Dean's turn to be surprised and his eyebrow lift, making him look strangely young. " _Really?_  What the hell do people call you then? I mean Castiel is nice and all, but you've gotta have nicknames."

 

Castiel smiles slightly and answers "My family has always called me by my given name. My friends call me Cassie."

 

Dean lets out a chuckle and says "oh man, I'm sorry for you. Though I guess you're pretty enough for it."

 

Castiel smiles to hide his surprise. That statement sounded rather flirtatious, but Dean is wearing a casual grin, so perhaps he simply meant it in friendly jest.

"Thank you, Dean" Castiel responds sincerely, before gesturing to the kitchen and suggesting "Shall we start?"

 

* * * * * * * * * 

Dean is cursing himself silently as he follows Cas to the kitchen. He can't believe those words came out of his mouth. I mean sure, the guy's pretty good looking and  _those eyes_  -

Dean stops his thought there. At least Cas was cool about it.

 

Cas seemed pretty chill about everything actually and Dean finds that he's thankful for his serenity. He's gonna need it over the next several hours.

They enter the kitchen to find the blonde guy, Balthazar, he recalls, holding up a container of leftover Chinese he'd had on Tuesday.

 

No, wait - he'd had pizza on Tuesday. Maybe last Sunday? He's really not sure.

 

"Do you  _actually_   _consume_  this stuff?" Balthazar asks, his nose wrinkled in a dramatic display of revulsion.

 

"What's wrong with my food?" Dean demands, not liking this guy at all.

 

"Well for starters - it's not food anymore. It's Darwinism." Balthazar snarks, before tossing the container into the nearby trashcan.

 

"Hey that was still good!" Dean growls.

 

Balthazar gives him a look of exaggerated pity. "No, love - it wasn't. And that's why I'm here."

 

"Don't call me  _'love'_  you ass-" Dean starts, but Cas lays a soft hand on his arm and says "Perhaps we should go meet the others now."

 

Cas' touch alone is slightly calming and he decides that he's going to have enough problems without looking for trouble so he concedes.

Dean shoots one last venomous glare at Balthazar who responds with a grin, before following Cas out, towards his room.

 

His blood is boiling again. These guys may be experts but that doesn't mean he wants them telling him how to run his life.

If he wants to eat junk and dress like the grease-monkey he is, whose business is it to make him live any differently?

 

"He doesn't mean any offense, really." Castiel is speaking and Dean breaks away from his angry thoughts to listen.

 

"Oh yeah? Because he did a damn good impression of it." Dean grumbles in response and Cas tilts his head in agreement.

 

"I understand that my friends can seem...difficult at times. But they mean well, and it's simply part of the job." Castiel finishes and Dean rolls his eyes.

 

He doesn't care what sort of explanations Cas wants to offer, he still doesn't like any of these damn guys.

 

"Really, Dean." Castiel insists "Once you get to know them they are quite pleasant."

 

His timing is impeccable because at this moment a loud crash is heard from the bedroom followed by a chorus of "Oh, shit -  _shit_!" followed by laughter and "YOU BROKE HIS CLOSET!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, chapter four! Now things are going to start moving a little more! I’ve got an actual plan for the next couple of chapters including a bit of angst from Dean and a bit of profound bonding for them – Enjoy!

 

Castiel has always thought that God must have an ironic and slightly perverse sense of humor and he’s taking this day as proof of it. He curls his left fingers in an effort to stem his irritation as his friend’s revelry and quickly follows Dean, who has bolted towards his bedroom with such speed that Castiel thinks his legs must’ve grown several inches.

 

They arrive to find Gabriel and Samandriel on a pile of clothes, rolling about in laughter. Castiel is quite sure tears of glee are streaking down Gabriel’s face.

 

Dean’s face is dark and he looks as though he’s about to snap, not that Castiel can blame him. He’s well accustomed to his friends antics, yet he finds even his patience is being tested. So he steps in front of Dean and inquires in a voice that’s as calm and authoritative as he can manage “What’s going on in here?

 

Gabriel and Samandriel manage to reign in their giggles enough to sit up and attempt to piece together an explanation “Luci was pulling out clothes or something-” “I don’t know what he was doing but suddenly there’s this _snap_ and-” “More of a crack, actually and-”

 

Lucifer emerges from the walk-in closet at this moment holding a long wooden pole and objecting “I didn’t break anything! This-” he twirled the rod “Came off its holding place and these two had to go make a ruckus out of it!”

 

Castiel takes the rod from Lucifer, who’s refusing to look contrite, and instead is rummaging through clothes on the floor, muttering in distaste at the amount of denim and flannel.

 

 “Did you see how fast Deano came running, though?!” Gabriel cackled. “Worried his closet was in danger!”

 

“Well he probably spends a lot of time in here.” Lucifer comments, trying to keep his voice casual, though he can’t manage to hide the smirk in it.

 

Castiel can feel Dean squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw in preparation to rage at them, so he turns quickly and guides Dean from the room with a gentle touch to his arm. To his pleasant surprise Dean follows willing. A fist fight would solve nothing, though he wouldn’t mind seeing some of that caged up ferocity in action.

 

Shocked at the paths of his thoughts, he focuses his attention away and offers a weak reassurance to Dean “Gabriel is like that with everyone. I’ve known him to flirt shamelessly with a priest in the presence of his wife of ten years.”

 

Dean grumbles a profanity under his breath but some of the tension seems to leave his shoulders. Castiel takes this as a good sign and continues “Samandriel is really just a large child. And Lucifer, well - he and Gabriel encourage each other. They mean no harm.”

 

Dean nods sharply, though if it’s born of true understanding or if it’s simply an effort to silence him, Castiel can’t be sure. He’s saved from deciding by Balthazar's sudden appearance. “What in _hell’s name_ was all the shouting about?”

 

 

**_ *  *  *  *  *  *  * _ **

 

While Cas explains the noise Dean exhales in short breaths to calm himself. _Assholes, every last one of them._

_Except for Cas_ , his mind amends. He tries to shake away the smile he feels at the simple thought of his name. These guys have gotta be driving him insane. That’s the only explanation. There’s no way he can be this fond of someone in just a few hours of meeting them.

 

Balthazar is shaking his head in mingled exasperation and amusement at his friends’ antics and Cas suggests “Perhaps we should begin with the shopping as quickly as possible?”

 

For a ridiculous moment Dean feels like he could kiss Cas for suggesting it. He knows these guys can’t harass him as much in public, and he’ll at least have more space between them. At this moment his apartment feels strangely small, almost suffocating.

 

Balthazar nods in agreement and shouts “Boys! In here now!”

 

To Dean their steps sound like a herd of elephants trampling through the house and he forces himself to sit down on the couch so he doesn’t tackle something. Anything.

 

 Cas calmly sits beside him, closer than what’s really appropriate for acquaintances, but he finds he really doesn’t mind. There’s surprising warmth radiating from him and Dean suddenly notices that he’s got a fresh, earthy scent to him that’s really nice. Like the breezes that sometimes blow through on a summer afternoon when he’s sipping a beer after finishing up under the hood of a car.

 

Dean shakes the thoughts away as Lucifer begins to speak “Okay boys, here’s what we’re gonna do. Me and Balthazar are gonna take Dean here out for a spin, while you guys tidy up and later you-” he pointed to Gabriel “ can meet up and grab Dean for decor shopping. Sound good?”

 

Everyone’s nodding in agreement, until Dean notices the absence of a name in the plans and he finds himself objecting “Hang on a sec - Cas isn’t coming with me?”

 

He hadn’t even thought before speaking, the words just leapt out of his mouth on their own. _Dammit._

 

Everyone is looking at them now and Dean can sense their barely hidden smirks at his outburst. Castiel doesn’t seem to notice simply shrugs beside him saying “There is no reason for me to accompany you. I have nothing to purchase with you and am therefore of more use here.”

 

Dean nods in agreement and says “Of course” as casually as he can manage, trying to dismiss his earlier objection. The guy is just doing his job and if that means he hangs around Dean’s place instead of Dean himself, then whatever. That’s what he’s gotta do. It’s not like they’re even friends or anything. _Moron_ he grumbles at himself.

 

Balthazar seems to have different plans though and he says “Actually Cassie, maybe you should tag along. Dean seems to like _you_ best...”

 

Dean opens his mouth to object because he does not like the tone of this blond dick. His words may seem innocent enough, but Dean can take a hint. All these guys seem to think he’s got something to hide and it’s grating at his nerves.

 

Sure, he likes Cas the best of these guys, but that’s just because he’s not an asshat. Nothing more. And yeah, he’s got nice eyes, and an awesome voice, but that’s something anyone can appreciate.

 

 Balthazar seems to realize he’s struck a nerve and he raises his hands in a contrite gesture, amending “Not that I blame you. Cassie is certainly the most likeable of us. Like an angel in a trench coat.”

 

Dean had noticed the odd tan jacket that Cas was wearing, but he hadn’t thought to question it. He assumed it was some weird trendy thing that was meant to seem quirky or something.

 

Cas smiles at Balthazar’s words and corrects “Technically it’s an overcoat.” which sends a wave of laughter through the group, relieving the tension.

 

Even Dean finds himself chuckling at Cas’ sense of humor, barely discernible from his usual manner, save for the gleam in his eyes. It should bother Dean that he’s already noticing these sorts of things about Cas. He shouldn’t be paying this much attention to a guy he barely knows.

 

“Right - let’s go - let’s go - time to get to work!” Lucifer sing-songs and Balthazar bounds towards the door.

 

Something suddenly hits Dean and he mutters under his breath _“Dammit”_

 

Castiel, who is still seated beside him hears and asks “Is everything alright, Dean?”

 

Dean stands and digs his phone out of his pocket and says “Not really - I was supposed to be a work twenty minutes ago - let me call ‘em and let ‘em know what’s going on.”

 

He doesn’t wait for an agreement and quickly strides from the room, dialing as he goes. It rings twice before he hears “Singer Auto - this is Jo Harvelle speaking. How can I help ya?”

 

“Hey, Jo - It’s me - listen - I’m sorry but I can’t come in today. I’ve got-” Dean starts but is interrupted by her laughter.

 

“What’s so amusing, _blondie_?” he demands and Jo’s exasperation at the nickname is enough to sober her laughter so she can speak.

 

“Don’t call me that, jerk.” she retorts before continuing “And I know you can’t come in today. Spending some time with the boys aren’t you?”

 

“You knew about this?!” Dean growls. Of course she knows. Sam would’ve thought of everything, including setting him up for time off. And Jo never said a word.

 

“Yeah! Sammy told me he was sending five guys to your place - kinky, Dean.” Jo answers with a laugh.

 

“Shut it, Harvelle.” He snaps back and it comes out harsher than intended. Jo always teases him about this sort of thing and he usually just responds with a joke of his own. But his nerves are already worn thin from the comments he’s been getting all morning.

 

Jo seems to realize she stepped over a line and says “ _Okay_ \- okay. I was just kidding.” then tactfully changing the subject she added “Can you pull a shift on Wednesday afternoon? Ash is gonna be out and we could use an extra hand.”

 

“Sure. I could use the cash” Dean agrees.

 

“Yep. You’ll have to maintain your fancy new wardrobe.” Jo says and Dean rolls his eyes.

 

“Bye, Harvelle” he says, and then hangs up without waiting for her goodbye. He knows he’ll hear about it later, but at the moment he’s got bigger problems.

 

He strides back into the living room and says “Okay. Let’s get this thing over with.”

 

Cas gives him a sympathetic smile while Balthazar snarks “Your enthusiasm is _overwhelming_ , Dean. Please try to control yourself.”


	5. Chapter 5

They pile out of the apartment with Gabriel shouting about searching for Dean's porn collection and not so subtly suggesting that he expects to find something homosexual in it.

Castiel watches Dean tense and prepares to step in, but Dean continues walking so Castiel simply glares reprovingly at Gabriel before closing the door. He can hear muffled snickers from behind the wood.

Balthazar and Lucifer practically bound down the hall and out the door, while Dean walks on at a more sedate, yet determined pace.

 

Castiel follows closely beside him, finding that he immensely enjoys the simple sensation of walking near him. It's strange for Castiel to be so fond of someone that he's only just met, but he tries not to linger on it in his thoughts.

 

When the reach the car Balthazar opens the back door and bows with a flourish of his hand, saying "Your carriage awaits you..." while Lucifer snickers from his place in the front seat.

 

Dean flips him off before climbing in and Castiel hides a small smile at the disdainful look Balthazar gives him in return. He climbs into the backseat with Dean as Balthazar heads for the passenger's seat.

 

"I haven't had nearly enough caffeine to deal with this shit." Dean grumbles under his breath as the engine starts up. Castiel answers with a sympathetic smile.

 

"No, seriously." Dean insists "How the hell do you deal with these guys?"

 

"You know we can hear you up here, Dean" Lucifer snaps from the front seat, but is ignored.

 

Castiel allows his mouth to turn up at the corners and answers "I suggest imbibing copious amounts of alcohol."

 

Dean's eyebrows raise and he says "And here I thought you were the goody-goody"

Which brings snickers from the front seat and scoff from Balthazar that sounds suspiciously like _"Hardly"_

Castiel feels a slight blush creeping onto his face as Dean looks about questioningly and demands "What? What do you mean?!"

 

He glances towards Castiel and inquires "Cas?"

 

Castiel shakes his head, refusing to speak so Balthazar answers for him "Come on, Cassie - tell Dean about the pizza man."

 

Castiel once again feels the urge to knock heads together. Balthazar always has to bring it up. It's quite ridiculous really and not nearly as unsavory as Balthazar makes it out to be. Still, it's not the sort of thing that he wants to discuss with anyone who wasn't directly involved, let alone Dean.

 

Dean waggles his eyebrows and asks with a sly smile "Yeah, Cas - what's this about a pizza man?"

 

"Don't forget the baby-sitter" Lucifer pipes in and Dean eyes widen in a fashion that Castiel didn't actually know was possible.

 

Castiel shakes his head firmly. "It was many years ago." he says, his tone indicating that he will say no more on the matter.

 

"Oh, come on, Cassie!" Balthazar prompts, but Castiel refuses to budge.

 

After a few moments Dean shrugs and says "Don't worry about it, Cas. We've all done things we're not proud of." It's clearly an offer to drop the subject and Castiel is momentarily overwhelmed with gratitude.

 

Balthazar mutters from the front "I'm proud of everything - and  _everyone_  - I've ever done." which elicits eye-rolls from the entire car and Castiel is forgotten as the subject.

 

_* * * * * * *_

The rest of the ride is oddly relaxing, with Lucifer and Balthazar chatting amiably about the merits of certain clothing stores versus others and Dean is thankful for a moment to breath. He can hear himself think again and it's wonderful.

 

Or it would be wonderful, if his mind wasn't so hung up on solving the mystery of Cas and the pizza man. And baby-sitter. What the hell is with that? Did Cas sleep with a guy who had a girlfriend or –  _shit_  – a threesome?  _Stop!_ He commands himself. It's none of his concern.

 

He tries to turn his mind to other things, like how he's gonna chew Sammy out for this whole thing when it's over. Of course he knows his Sasquatch of a brother is just trying to help him adjust to everything. But this is not the answer, he's pretty damn sure of that.

 

"Right! Here we are." Balthazar announces as they pull up to a small men's boutique. The outfits in the front look like something out of an African safari movie and he's pretty sure they cost as much as an expedition.

 

They pour out of the car and Balthazar says "Okay- I've gotta go look for some things down the street, so I'll come fetch Dean when I'm ready." Lucifer nods agreeably at this.

 

"Fetch?!" Dean scoffs in irritation "I'm not a damn toy..."

 

Balthazar mutters something that sounds like "I know - such a shame." before sauntering off.

 

Dean growls in frustration, but forces his anger down and returns his attention to Lucifer and Cas. "Let's go" he grumbles, striding into the shop without waiting for the others.

He's aware of Lucifer murmuring about him being a touchy one and finds himself smiling when Cas defends in an undertone "He has every right to be - you've all been rather difficult."

 

As soon as they're inside a smiling dark-skinned woman greets them, hugging Castiel and Lucifer. "Rachel – lovely to see you again!" Lucifer greetings warmly. He gestures to Dean and says "This is Dean-"

Dean cuts him off and adds "Their newest victim." And offers his hand to her with a grin. She answers with a cool smile that tells him she doesn't appreciate the humor. Cas however, seems amused.

 

Rachel gestures to the racks of clothes and says "You have run of the store as always. I'll be in the back doing inventory, so just shout when you're done."

 

Lucifer nods and thanks her briefly, before moving off into the store among the racks and calling for Dean to follow.

 

Dean has never before thought of shopping as a physically straining activity, but with Lucifer piling clothes higher and higher in his arms, Dean is beginning to feel like he is at a gym rather than a boutique.

 

Cas follows close and offers to assists him several times, but Dean refuses. After all it'd be pretty pathetic if he couldn't carry a pile of shirts and pants on his own. Finally after what seems like hours, though he doubts that thirty minutes have in fact passed, Lucifer guides them to the changing rooms.

 

"Right, strip off and in you go" he says, gesturing to one of the doors.

 

Dean rolls his eyes and says "I think you got the order reversed there. I'm not striping off until I am behind those doors."

 

Lucifer grumbles that Dean is no fun, whilst Cas simply averts his eyes at the mere mention of Dean undressing. Dean finds it oddly endearing one on hand and on the other realises that the idea of stripping in front of Cas is not an unpleasant one. He hurries into the dressing room before his thoughts can travel any further down that path.

 

Lucifer organizes the chaos of clothes into outfits and tosses them into Dean one by one for him to try on and parade around in. It's stupid and he feels like a freakin' Barbie doll or something, being put on display.

 

On the other hand Cas' eyes seem to linger on his hips when Lucifer gives him a dark pair of jeans with a very flattering cut, and Dean realizes maybe he doesn't mind at all.

 

"Okay, last outfit, Dean" Lucifer says, tossing a moss green shirt and black jeans over the top of the door to him. "I think this is the one you should wear for your party tonight."

 

Dean freezes for a moment  _oh hell_ he's got to throw a party?! No body mentioned that. "A party?!" he demands in fury, dropping the clothes and striding angrily from the dressing room to confront them.

 

"No one said anything about a damn party. Care to explain?" he growls, then wonders why Cas and Lucifer's gaze lingers briefly on his shoulder before skittering away.

 

 _Shit_ He's not wearing a shirt. He clenches his jaw for a moment, biting down the string of curses begging to roll of his tongue. He waits, eyes defiant for someone to ask about the scar stretching sickeningly across his skin, but the question never comes.

 

Instead Cas answers quietly "I apologize, Dean. I believe we all assumed you knew, since you're familiar with the show. At the end of each process everyone has some sort of event to finalize it. In your case it will be something of a house-warming party."

 

Dean nods sharply, saying "Right" before striding back into the dressing room and slamming the door. His hands worked, forming fists and then releasing for a few moments in an effort to calm himself.

 

He hears Lucifer and Cas speaking in urgent tones and a wave of gut-wrenching anger overwhelms him for a moment. Fucking assholes barging into his life and exposing him like this – he could break something. He sucks in harsh breaths reminding himself that it's not their fault they saw his scar. They weren't trying to make him feel vulnerable.

 

Suddenly Cas' voice comes softly from the other side of the door "If you desire we can cancel the party, Dean."

 

He hears a noise of protest from Lucifer, but Cas ignores it and says "We can stop all of this right now if you truly wish it."

 

Dean slumps down onto the floor as the fight drains out of him. Everything's so infuriating one minute and then Cas steps in and suddenly it's all fine. He finds himself smiling wryly at it and is thankful for Cas' offer. He's tempted to take it. But Winchesters finish what they start, no matter what.

 

He stands and says "Thanks, Cas, but I am never gonna pass up a chance for a good party." With what he hopes is a convincing amount of raucous bravado in his voice.

 

"Very well." Cas says and Dean can hear the smile in his voice.

 

"I hate to interrupt this touching moment, but could you get the last outfit on please? We've got a schedule to keep." Lucifer interjects and Dean almost flips him off before realize Lucifer wouldn't see him.

 

Instead he grumbles under his breath a bit and slides on the black-wash jeans, which fit snuggly, but comfortably. The shirt is a rich moss tone and has military style shoulder epaulettes. He slides it on and is almost done buttoning it up when his phone rings.

 

He grabs it without checking the caller id and answers "Hello?" with it pressed between his shoulder and ear.

 

"Hey there. How's the Pretty Woman make-over going?" Charlie asks brightly from the other side.

 

Dean groans in response and finishes buttoning his shirt, stepping out of the dressing room. "That bad, huh?" Charlie asks sympathetically. "I do feel bad for you, having your Saturday high-jacked, but I'm also kinda bummed that I'm missing the montage!"

 

"Believe me, it's not as much fun as you think it is." Dean grumbles as Lucifer nods appreciatively and instructs Dean to stand in different positions.

 

"Not for you, but for me it'd be awesome. Better than any rom-com make-over that's for damn sure." Charlie counters with a laugh.

 

"Hold on" Dean instructs her as Lucifer turns him towards the mirror. He surveys his reflection and smiles at what he sees. It's not the sort of thing he'd usually pick out, but there is a certain appeal to it.

 

"Cas, what do you think?" he finds himself asking. Cas, whose gaze had been roaming everywhere but Dean jumped slightly at hearing his name. However he composed himself quickly and scanned Dean before answering "It suits you very well."

 

He can hear Charlie shouting at him through the phone so he presses it back to his ear and returns to the dressing room.

 

"Jesus, would you tone it down?!" he growls as he catches a few words of a sentence that are practically screamed at him.

 

"Oh, there you are." Charlie says in her normal tone, before adding. "Who is Cas – wait – the Castiel guy?! You've got a nickname for him?"

 

Dean cuts her off with a harsh "Shut up" as he wriggles out of the jeans.

 

"I don't blame you, Dean. I've watched the show a couple of times and even I think he's pretty dreamy..." Charlie continues as if Dean had never spoken.

 

"I am too busy for this." He snaps before clicking his phone shut. He's hanging up on a lot of people lately it seems, but he can't bring himself to care. Sure he'll have a dozen or so messages from Charlie later, calling him a Klingon or Death Eater for hanging up on her but he'll just delete them.

 

Once he's dressed back in his clothes he exists the dressing room and sees that Lucifer and Cas are already having a majority of the clothes rung up.

He carries the last outfit over and Lucifer greets him by saying "Balthy just called – he won't need you for a while longer. I've got to get these clothes back to your  _lovely_ apartment – so Cas will have you to himself for a while."

 

Dean doesn't miss the wink Lucifer gives Cas, but Cas ignores it. Dean smiles, because Cas he can handle, and says "Okay. Fine by me."

 

Lucifer, weighed down with bags, snarks "So  _glad_  you approve." Before heading out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, some angsty back-story. But what else would you expect, it’s Dean Winchester.  
> Hope this doesn’t seem to out-of-sync with the rest of the story since it’s been fairly lighthearted ‘til now. Anyway – enjoy!

Castiel murmurs a polite goodbye to Rachel before heading for the street as well. He's unsure as to what he should do with his spare time and loiters on the sidewalk, slightly puzzled.

If Dean had some sort of significant other than this would be easier. That's usually Castiel's forte, is helping people with their relationships. It's something his friends find ironic since Castiel has only ever had one serious relationship in his life and that was with Anna, before he came out.

He'd been fond of Anna of course, but the only real reasoning behind their relationship was that his family approved of her. She's the only one they would ever approve of, but that's a moot point now though, since they refuse to even speak with him.

Dean follows him out onto the pavement and lingers beside him, waiting for direction. A ridiculous part of him nearly suggests that Dean run for it while he has the chance. Let him get away from the chaos of the day and the unintentional prying into his obviously difficult past. Castiel is barely managing to keep a lid on his now rampant curiosity about Dean.  _Those scars seemed almost like burns..._

He snaps his thoughts from their train, reprimanding himself for such deliberations about a man he hardly knows. He shifts uncomfortably, unsure of how to proceed. Dean doesn't need anything from him and the sensation of uselessness isn't a pleasant one.

Dean's stomach rumbles, then, breaking him from his thoughts and forcing a small smile onto his lips. Dean answers with a defensive expression and says "You guys didn't even give me time for breakfast this morning."

Castiel warms a bit, because now he knows how to spend his time with Dean. "There's a very nice cafe with excellent burgers just a few streets away. Perhaps you'd like to get lunch?" he suggests.

Dean's smile comes instantly and he answers "Burgers? Hell, yeah. Man after my own heart, aren't you?"

Castiel is momentarily speechless at his choice of words, but he reminds himself it's a casual figure of speech and surely nothing is meant by it. At least he hopes Dean hasn't noticed his attraction to him, he's tried to hide it.

Dean however is already hailing a cab, so Castiel forces the thoughts from his mind and climbs inside when one pulls to the curb.

 

DEAN

Dean tries to prevent his stomach from rumbling too much by sucking it in, but it's not comfortable at all, so he gives up after a few moments. Cas is sitting a little closer than absolutely necessary, but it seems to be a habit with the guy so Dean doesn't comment.

Besides, it's not like it's really a problem. Cas has a nice warmth to him and he doesn't smell too bad either. Dean's sat next to worse. He settles in and relaxes for the short cab ride, trying not to think about the incident in the store.

He knows Cas has gotta be itching to ask about his scars, everyone who has ever seen them wants to know the story. And then they react with horror or stomach twisting pity after they hear it. Dean can't stand it and as a result there are only a handful of people who know the story.

Cas doesn't ask however, he doesn't even mention it and Dean is pretty sure he's never been so grateful for silence in his life. Even if it is a bit awkward. The cab ride is brief though, and they soon arrive.

Cas pays the driver without hesitation and then leads the way into the cafe. It's a nice place, with simple, clean decor and classic rock playing in the background. It's a cozy place filled with the chatter of people and the scent of cooking meat. Dean relaxes instantly. It's the most comfortable he's felt all day.

It's a seat yourself sort of place and Cas leads him to a cushy looking booth and slides in. Dean settles in on the other side and grabs a menu from the rack holding salt and pepper instantly. Cas mirrors his actions at a less rushed pace and flips the menu open, scanning it thoughtfully.

A blonde guy with a weird mullet comes over to take their drink orders. Cas primly request water with lemon while Dean gets a coke. If they'd served alcohol he'd probably have ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels. Coke isn't quite the same, but he's hoping the caffeine will help.

The guys nods and says "Be out in a sec, dudes."

Dean can't help but laugh a little at him and finds that he feels the best he has all day. There's a companionable silence as they both look over the menu and Dean realizes after a moment that he's humming along with Shinedown's cover of Simple Man as it plays over the loud-speaker.

Cas is throwing glances his way as he's humming and after the blonde - Ash - brings them there drinks and takes their orders he offers "My mom used to sing that song to Sammy all the time, so I know it by heart."

Dean's a bit surprised at himself for saying it, but somehow he finds he actually wants to talk to Cas. Not bullshit chit-chat about the weather or anything. He actually wants to know more about this guy and for this guy to know more about him.

Castiel smiles and says "It's a lovely song with a very accurate message."

Dean nods and continues "Yeah - I think my mom sang it to him in hopes that he'd grow up like that. I guess he has, come to think of it." He doesn't mention that after she died he started singing it to Sammy too.

"He seems like a good man. Very caring." Cas offers and Dean laughs. "Oh, yeah - he's a freakin' angel. Until you go on a road-trip with him."

Cas raises his eyebrows in question and Dean continues "After he graduated high-school I took him on a road-trip. It was kinda a coming of age thing I guess and he was  _a study-holic_ so he needed the break. Didn't know how to have fun on his own. Anyway - we charted a route from the east to the west coast and took off to tour all these haunted house - he  _loves_  those damn things." Dean grins as he settles into the memories and Cas relaxes a bit in his seat to listen.

"I was driving my dad's old Impala - that thing is a little piece of Heaven - and off we went cruising on highways with the radio cranked up." He laughs at his chick-flick narration and adds "Well that lasted for all of two days. Then he started complaining about his legs - those things are too damn long - and wanting to drive. And he kept trying to change the music to Coldplay and shit. I mean -  _Coldplay_."

Cas responds with a look of mock horror and the humor of the expression seems so out of place on Cas that Dean barks out a laugh before finishing his story.

"I finally told him 'Driver picks the music and shot-gun shuts his cake hole'. That lasted for about half an hour and the he was at it again. And he just couldn't shut up. He knew the lore behind every place we went - urban legends most of it - but he treated it like sacred knowledge or something, always rambling on about it. He's such a geek."

Cas chuckles softly and Dean finds he enjoys the sound, rare as it is. "It probably isn't most people's idea of fun - staying in cheap motel rooms and eating junk food – well Sam ate salad - but we did have a hell of a time - even with Sammy being an asshat. And then he went off to college of course - but at least he got to have some real fun first." Dean finishes as Ash arrives with their food.

"Oh, that looks  _awesome_." he says when Ash sets the bacon cheese burger on the table.

"You bet it's awesome." Ash says with a grin as he sets down Cas' double cheese burger. "We don't serve anything but awesome." he adds, before wandering off to the kitchens.

They both tuck in and Dean can't quite stifle the contended groan at the taste of the perfectly grilled burger. It's almost as good as one of his. Cas' eyes widen a bit at the noise and he realizes it's a bit rude, so he tries to quiet down.

They eat in a comfortable silence for several moments, but Dean can tell Cas is thinking something over, almost weighing his words as he picks at his fries. "Alright- _out with it_ , Cas" Dean finally snaps, growing a bit irritated with Cas' distant expression.

Cas starts a bit and ducks his head apologetically before saying "It's simply - well, you've told me a fair bit about Sam, but nothing about yourself. And this entire process is supposed to be about you." Cas says nothing more and simply watches him as if fearing he's overstepped a boundary and is awaiting Dean's reaction.

Dean takes a sip of Coke to avoid answering before snarking "I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women – oh and my mom used to sing Hey Jude to me as a kid. Happy?"

He hadn't meant it to come out quite so harsh, but if there's one thing he doesn't like it's people prying into him. They never like what they find. He expects Cas to get angry or drop the subject but Cas surprises him.

"I'm very sure that there is more to you than a fondness for 'frisky women' and sunsets, Dean." Cas says in a measured tone that almost has an edge of challenge to it. The certainty in his words shocks Dean because no one has ever doubted that he's a shallow, womanizing grease-monkey until now.

" _Yeah?_  And what more do you think there is?" Dean demands in a harsh whisper, beginning to feel strangely exposed as Cas does some sort of freaky soul stare at him.

"I think you have a bright soul, Dean and for some reason you try to hide it. You can't, however. Especially when you speak of your brother and your affection for him shines through." Cas answers, leveling him with an intense look.

Dean shifts a bit uncomfortably and takes a gulp of Coke wishing it was something stronger. He's not used to this. It's like this guy actually likes him. Actually thinks he's a good person whose worth something and it twists at Dean's stomach a bit.

He's not worth anything, never has been. Sammy's the good one. Sammy's the one he's worked to support, because he's the one who is worth it. Sammy's the one who will actually amount to something. Not him.

"Bright soul?!" Dean growls "I let my mother  _burn_!" he rages in a broken whisper. He's not entirely sure why he says this, but he supposes it's because he wants to shock Cas. To scare him away from the conversation. To scare Cas away from him. But Cas isn't budging.

His gaze does soften though, into something that Dean almost thinks is pity. But when he looks again he realizes it's simple compassion and a knot forms in his stomach. "I don't understand." Cas murmurs after a moment and Dean knows it's a request for more.

He also knows that if he really wants he can tell Cas to  _fuck off_  and Cas will probably listen. But he doesn't, he can't. The rage and agony of the memories are pumping through him and he finds the words tumbling from him in a fury "Our house caught on fire in the middle of the night. The smoke woke me - I could smell it and it burned my mouth and eyes and then everyone started screaming."

Cas' hand twitches as if he's going to reach across and touch Dean, but he doesn't and Dean continues "My dad came running in and told me to take Sammy outside - he couldn't even walk then - so I grabbed him and I ran. I didn't even ask where my mom was. I get outside and she isn't the-re" he chokes a bit on the last word, but continues

"So I drop Sammy and run back in there to find her - She's stuck at the top of the stairs and they're burning up - and I'm trying to get to her and I'm screaming for her and-" a dry sob rises in his throat and he forces it down, drawing a deep breath.

Cas makes no move to silence him or comfort him. He simply watches and waits, letting Dean get it all out.

When Dean speaks again his voice is cold with self-loathing "I couldn't get to her. I wasn't looking like I should've and one of our curtains burned off the rail and fell on me - I ran out of there screaming. If it hadn't been for a fireman I probably would've died - he grabbed me up and put me out."

The silence is deafening and Dean waits. Waits for Cas to gush with pity. Waits for Cas to suddenly become awkward and look at the table or suggest they leave. He waits for a look of revulsion. But it doesn't come. None of the usual reactions come.

Instead Cas gaze remains steady, though there's a hint of confusion. "You think her death is  _your_  fault?" There's honest to god disbelief in Cas' voice and it knocks Dean back for a moment. It's always been his fault. Everyone knows it. Even Sammy blames him, he's sure. John certainly did.

"Damn right it's my fault!" he snaps "I should've gotten in their quicker. Or I shouldn't have run outta there like that - I shouldn't have failed her." he shakes his head and adds with a disgusted imitation of a laugh "That's all I've ever done with anyone I care about."

He looks Cas straight in the eye, almost challenging him to disagree. Cas does. " _Failed her?_  Dean, you couldn't have been more than five years old at the time. Do you honestly believe that as a kindergarten student you should've been able to do what a fireman couldn't?"

It's a good argument but Dean refuses to listen. His only response is a stony silence, so Cas continues "Furthermore you are not a failure, Dean. Your mother died, which I take to mean you had to assist in raising Sam. You have done an admirable job. He's in law school and is a happy man. What more could you have done?"

It's freaky, how Cas puts things together. He didn't just help raise Sammy - he practically did it all himself. But he doesn't say that. He doesn't talk about the times when John was too drunk to work. He doesn't talk about the nights he failed to feed Sam more than some chips because that's all he could afford with the change he scrounged up.

He doesn't talk about the fights John and Sam used to get into or how he failed to make them get along. He doesn't talk about how he failed to talk John out of driving drunk and ending up a bloody wreck in a twisted lump of metal that was once an SUV.

Instead he shakes his head and says "No. I could've done better."

Cas is about to speak, but Dean can't take anymore and shouts "Dude – check!" summoning Ash to their table.

Cas settles back from his former position of arms folded on the table and reaches for his wallet. Dean's about to snap out a protest but Cas anticipates this and says "It's an expense of the show. The company will cover it."

Dean nods and swallows down the last of his Coke before standing, leaving Cas to settle the check.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to let you all know, I am leaving in under two weeks to begin my AmeriCorps service in California. I don't know what my schedule will be or when I will be able to write/post for this story. If it goes for a while without updates, I promise I am not abandoning it, I just haven't had the time. I am going to try and update it once more before I go, to get you guys through Dean's party! Anyway – hope you enjoy!!

Castiel pays and hurries out of the cafe as quickly as he can, hoping he hasn't lost Dean. He'd seen Dean's walls and pushed passed them. It's not something he should've done, but the layers of guilt and self-loathing needed to be broken through somehow. This man has too much good in him to be weighed down by such guilt.

However, Castiel well knows that it will take far more than a day and some encouraging conversation to help Dean. He forces himself back into a professional mindset, doing his best to focus on the task at hand. The best thing now if for him to deliver Dean to Balthazar and let things settle out. He simply hopes he hasn't marred the rapport that they'd begun to build. After all of this he'd hoped somehow, they could be friends.

He finds Dean waiting in the sidewalk, hands in his jean pockets, his expression a neutral mask. He looks so accustomed to wearing it that Castiel's heart twists a bit. He knows what it means to have to hide yourself frequently.

Dean surprises Castiel by speaking to him "Balthazar is next, right?" Castiel nods and answers "Yes. We're supposed to meet him back in front of Rachel's shop." Then steps towards the edge of the sidewalk to summon a cab.

Dean says nothing at all as a cab pulls to the curb to allow them in. He remains silent the entire ride, starting determinedly out the front of the car. It's awkward and the tension is almost painful. The cabby keeps shooting them curious glances, obviously sensing the fact that Dean is smoldering under his cool mask.

Castiel can sense it as well and he waits for the storm to break. He can feel the pressure building, like thunder rolling in the distance. He'd triggered a tempest within Dean, by prodding at the dams he'd built around his emotions; surely it's all about to collapse.

But the cabby pulls up to their destination and Dean exits the car calmly, without giving Castiel a backwards glance. Castiel doesn't stem the heavy sigh that rises within him and he watches Dean approach Balthazar, who's making a show of his exasperation at being made to wait, arms folded and toe tapping.

He releases another sigh, this one sharper and intent, forcing himself to expel some of his own tumultuous feelings. Although he must interact on a more intimate level with most of their clients than the rest of the Fab Five, simply because of his job, becoming so attached to one of them has never happened and it certainly isn't wise.

Still conflicted, but more composed he calmly gives the cabby Dean's home address. The distraction of helping Gabriel finish decorating will be a welcome one.

_**DEAN** _

Dean's never felt so damn bipolar in his life. Not when his mother died and his couldn't decide if he should shout in anger or wail in mourning. Not when his father died and he couldn't decide if he should let his shoulders sag with relief or with sorrow. Not even when Sammy got engaged and moved out, leaving him a messy combination of elated and depressed.

He should be furious at Cas for reading him like that, for trying to get inside his head and acting as if he understood him. He  _is_  furious at Cas, dammit. The boiling sensation under his skin and the adrenaline pumping through his veins proves that.  _But_ -

But another part of him, small and hidden, but just as potent, desperately wants to believe everything Cas said. Wants to fall to the floor and finally release the racking sobs that have been building inside him for years. Wants to shed the layers of guilt that he's piled on himself over the years and just-

_No._  Cas doesn't know him. They'd met, what? Four hours ago, tops. He's just some stupid, touchy-feely guy who doesn't know what's good for him. Dean knows people who say they see good in him sometimes, but it's just a trick of the light. He's too fucked up to ever amount to anything other than what he's doing now and that's just how it's gonna be. The fury resumes control, simmering at Cas for bringing all the bullshit to the surface, when he'd been perfectly fine shoving it down and continuing with his life.

His face is a mask when he approaches Balthazar, who's acting like his asshat self, doing his best impression of as strict elementary school teacher.

"You know, I have been waiting here for over ten minutes." Balthazar begins and Dean rolls his eyes, his anger at Cas temporarily forgotten in the wake of the irritation Balthazar causes him. "Don't roll your eyes, Dean, it makes you look like a teenager. And furthermore, you'd do well to remember that I am trying to  _help_  you."

Dean lets out a wry laugh at that and says "Well if you're expecting me to get on my knees in gratitude, you've got another thing coming."

Balthazar snickers and retorts "I'd watch my words if I were you, Dean. Talking about getting on your knees and coming in the same sentence isn't wise."

A fresh flash of heated anger rears within him, but he shoves it down like everything else and simply wrinkles his nose in disgust. "You guys are  _douchebags_. Every last one of you." It's the wrong thing to say.

"Oh my, have we had a fight with Cassie?" Balthazar asks, latching on Dean's words.

Dean strides away from him, calling over his shoulder "Haven't we got shopping to do?"

"Deflecting!" Balthazar proclaims, but he relents and quickly catches pace with Dean. "Just a quick stroll away is the loveliest deli in town. I'll be teaching you how to make a version of a BLT to serve as well as some simple hummus and pita chips."

"Rabbit food." Dean grumbles in disgust, glad to have something to vent some of his frustration on.

"Yes, Dean.  _Rabbit food_ " Balthazar affirms in a whisper of mock horror. "But take courage! I have faith in you."

Dean contemplates the consequences of punching him in the face and has almost decided it'd be worth it when they arrive at their destination. He settles for entering the shop first and shutting the door in Balthazar's face. It's a childish move, he knows, but it makes him feel just a bit better.

The deli isn't the only place they're going apparently and soon Balthazar is dragging him across streets and into small grocers, with exotic foods lining the shelves and large barrels of fresh produce. It's just the sort of place Sam would shop, he finds himself thinking. He's always complained about Sam's healthy habits and he knows he's going to hear about it from Sam tonight, when he sees what Dean's serving.

"Here" Balthazar thrusts a basket at Dean as he's been doing every time they enter the store. At first Dean had taken it without protest, simply wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. But now he's starting to get pissed off. How many ingredients can they possibly need?!

"Can't you carry the damn basket yourself?" he protests, shoving it back towards Balthazar.

Balthazar calmly pushes it back at Dean on moves away, answering "No. You must have me confused with the  _other_  gay man, the one in the trench coat who adores you." He casually inspects a jar of Greek Olives while his words set in.

Dean laughs it off at first, because it's the only thing he can do to stop himself from throwing this bastard into the display of organic canned corn. "You know you're shit at reading people." he says, with what he hopes is a convincing grin.

Balthazar replaces the olives on the shelf and continues down the row, selecting another jar. "I'm not talking about  _people_ , though. I am talking about Cassie who I have known for so long that he seems like a brother to me. And people can't hide things from their brothers, Dean."

Dean suspect Balthazar is trying to make two points, with his final sentence, but he refuse to let the words get to him. He hardens his face, trying to continue to restrain his fury, because who the hell gave this guy to right? Cas adores  _him_? The smart, successful TV-star with impeccable manners and a gentle smile, adores his idiotic, grease-monkey self? Sure. And pigs sprout wings every full moon.

Balthazar is oblivious to Dean however and casually continues on as if he's discussing the olives he's examining. "Cassie is very good at what he does. He's a very empathic person and he can connect with people very well. However the connect he fosters is always superficial and one-sided. It only relates to what's relevant and he never gets attached." he pauses here and levels Dean with a sharp look. "You, for some unfathomable reason, are different. And if you don't believe me, count the number of times he has smiled today. I guarantee you it's been more than twice, which is his average."

Dean wants to protest at this, but his mind is too busy processing Balthazar's words, and despite himself he finds that he's mentally backtracking through the day, trying to count Cas' smiles. He stops himself partway, remembering his frustration.

Balthazar suddenly selects a jar of olives, drops it in the basket and saunters down the aisle, not allowing Dean a chance to respond. Since the subject is dropped Dean doesn't bring it back up again, silently following Balthazar about, his mind a tangle of thoughts that cause him to wish heartily for some Jack Daniels.

Finally they're done and Balthazar leads him to where the car is parked. Dean had wondered what happened to it, since he and Cas had used a cab to get around. He's weighed down by bags and the strain on his muscles feels cathartic.

He's finally beginning to think clearly about the events of the afternoon and can't help but wonder if somehow, miraculously Balthazar is correct. Maybe Cas just has a crush on him and all that was at the dinner were the effects of it. Or maybe Cas was just a genuinely nice guy, who didn't like to see him beating up on himself.

Either way, Dean decides, he should give him another chance. No one had been at their best through the day and even though he felt like Cas had flayed him alive by dragging all of his past up, he's pretty sure it wasn't Cas' intention. The guy thought he was helping and Dean had thrown it back in his face. Yeah. An apology is definitely in order, he decides at Balthazar turns onto his street. Now how the  _hell_  is he supposed to do that?

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last update for a few weeks. I am joining AmeriCorps and leaving for California on the 24th. I won't have computer access for a while, so that means no writing. Also, the format of this chapter is different, one because I wanted more Cas introspection time, but also because I couldn't find an easy transition point in the POV. So next chapter, whenever it comes, will be all Dean POV at the party. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope to get back to you and this fic soon!

Castiel has always prided himself on being difficult to read. It's an advantageous skill to have within his world, especially in his line of work. He can easily conceal his emotions with a cool mask, a neutral expression and no one is any the wiser of his internal turmoil.

 

Or so he likes to think. His friends have always been different. So he is not so much surprised as exasperated when instead of greeting him Gabriel takes one look at his face and gives a low whistle "Trouble in paradise, bro?"

 

"Dean and I did have a disagreement, if that's what you mean." he admits after a moment, shutting the door to Dean's apartment behind him. The place is in even more chaos than when he left it, but at least there is a purpose behind it now.

 

New furniture is at odd angles around the room, waiting to be placed. Plastic is still spread on the floor, protecting the floor from splatters of the warm toffee toned paint currently drying on the walls.

 

"How can I be of assistance?" Castiel asks, before Gabriel has a chance to pry any further. The last thing Castiel want to do is recount his afternoon full of mistakes.

 

Gabriel raises an eyebrow and says "You're not getting off that easy, Cassie. What happened with you and closet lover boy?"

 

"Stop degrading him!" Castiel snaps fiercely and Gabriel steps back slightly, hands raised in surrender.

 

" _Whoa_ , Okay. I was just messing around." Gabriel assures placating. Castiel is as surprised as Gabriel, he rarely ever lashes out like that. He cannot recall ever having done so to his friends. But knowing Dean, knowing his story and to hear him mocked again, it broke something in him.

 

He inhales deeply, narrows his eyes and calmly requests "Give me a task, Gabriel. What happened between Dean and I is not of import and we're running out of time."

 

Gabriel mutters something about Dean really getting under his skin, but reluctantly nods. "Okay, Cassie. You can sort out all this vinyl - I got that new bookcase over there for them" he gestures vaguely in the direction of a compact mahogany shelf.

 

"And look 'em over before you stack 'em on the shelf. I have a feeling Dean-o" he darts a glance at Castiel to ensure the nickname isn't an issue before continuing "Hasn't had good storage for them. Some might not have made it out unscathed."

 

Castiel purses his lips in exasperation at Gabriel's dramatics, but says nothing. Instead he simply hefts one of the boxes onto the stylishly rustic coffee table Gabriel purchased and begins his work.

 

"I'll leave you to it, then." Gabriel mutters, before heading off towards the bedroom.

 

Castiel leafs carefully through the records, the names on the familiar, though not those that would be found in his own music collection.

 

Several of them are in covers that have clearly seen better days. He pulls out the vinyl and carefully examines it, noting the number of scratches and even a few chips along the edge and one appears to be warped. Surely these are beyond playing?

 

He cannot simply dispose of them, however. They're clearly a piece of Dean, worn because they're well loved, like a favorite book that slowly falls to bits from overuse. He wonders for a moment if he can have them repaired, however they seem too far gone...

 

Abruptly the solution comes to him, leaving a smile in its wake. "Gabriel, I need to go out!" he calls.

 

_Several Hours Later -_

He hears the rush of footsteps just as he's finishing in the kitchen, assisting Samandriel in some last minute arranging. Gabriel hadn't spent too much effort on the kitchen, because its state wasn't as dismal as the rest of the apartment, but he had purchased a few things to assist in it's organization.

 

"We have returned!" Balthazar unnecessarily proclaims, as he slams the door behind him.

 

"Dude, easy!" Dean snaps, then adds in a grumble "Are you gonna take this damn thing off of me?"

 

Ah, Balthazar has blindfolded him. Unsurprising, he's always been a fan of a dramatic reveal. There's a clatter of footsteps as everyone rushes back into the living room to see Dean's reaction.

 

"Hey, Dean-o!" Gabriel greets. "Let me just say, your place looks fantastic." Lucifer and Samandriel laugh in agreement.

 

"You've outdone yourself, Gabe." Balthazar murmurs appreciatively and earning an exasperated growl from Dean.

 

"Let him see." Castiel commands in irritation. Gabriel and Balthazar exchange looks, but comply.

 

"Welcome home." Balthazar cheers, as he undoes the black striped tie, that served as Dean's blindfold.

 

There's a long moment of silence as Dean takes in the change. Gone are the grungy off-white walls with faded posters. Gone are the haphazard piles of books, movies, cds and records that once littered the tables and corners of the room. Gone is the ragged couch, with ripped arms and the oddly colored love-seat with mismatched pillows.

 

" _...holy shit_." He finally says, taking in the toffee walls and tidy shelves. He wanders over to the large, dark leather arm-chair that has taken place of the love-seat and plops down in it. His gaze wanders back over to the new couch which matches and shakes his head.

 

"This... this is awesome." he proclaims, finally letting a grin show through. "I gotta hand it to you - asshats or not you sure now how to spruce up a place."

 

This earns him good-natured grumblings and curses. "You could say 'thank you'." Gabriel suggests and Dean nods in agreement. "I could."

 

Lucifer rolls his eyes and says "Right. Charming. Well I have to go sort out things in the bedroom. Our work isn't done just yet."

 

"I'll give you a hand!" they all chime in various ways, save Castiel, who is watching Dean out of the corner of his eyes. He's still smiling and he wanders to the shelves, examining their organized contents. "Awesome." he murmurs.

 

Dean is enjoying himself for once today and Castiel hates to intrude on the enjoyment of his re-done apartment, but he also knows that soon Lucifer will need him for wardrobe and then Balthazar will have to work with him on food preparation.

 

"Dean, could I speak to you in the kitchen?" he inquires, wanting to be as far away from his brother's prying eyes as possible.

 

"Oh - uh - sure." Dean says, breaking out of his examination of the room. He suddenly seems a bit nervous, rubbing the back of his neck as he walks and Castiel represses a sigh. It would seem he has marred whatever rapport they had. He just hopes Dean will accept his gift and they can part on amicable terms.

 

Castiel grabs the box containing his gift and follows Dean into the kitchen. "This is for you." he says, diving right in and handing the box to Dean. Surprise flits across his features and for a moment he is silent and Castiel fears he will refuse. "Open it, please." Castiel prompts and he does so.

 

He pulls out a dark wooden frame, within it is one of his damaged records, neatly matted. He glances up at Castiel, more surprise in his features, this time it's nearly incredulous. Castiel winces internally, fearing his gift is not well received.

 

"Some of your records were badly damaged - beyond repair. I didn't want to simply throw them out, though. I could tell that they're important to you, so had them made into decor." he offers in explanation.

 

When Dean still doesn't speak, instead removing another from the box, Castiel adds "You can also think of this as an apology from me for overstepping my bounds earlier today."

 

Now Dean reacts, letting out a low barking laugh that seems to be borne of surprise instead of humor. "Dude,  _I_  should be the one apologizing." he says, the grin on his face bears a nearly contrite edge to it.

 

Castiel furrows his brows in bemusement, all his anxious thought patterns crashing to a halt. Dean was apologizing? For what? He was the one who had trespassed, not Dean. He bears him no ill will.

 

However Dean clearly doesn't see it that way and he continues "I - uh - I know you were just trying to help earlier - hell it's  _your job_  - and I kinda hulked out on you-"

 

"Dean, stop." Castiel interrupts, with a silencing gesture. "It's quite alright."

 

Dean shoulders suddenly drain from tension and he nods. "Good..." he falls silent for a moment, as if he wants to speak but is hesitant. Castiel waits quietly, not wanting to unnerve or push him into speaking and ruining the fragile peace they've just rebuilt.

 

"Oh screw it - Do you want to come tonight?" Dean asks suddenly. Seeing Castiel's look of befuddlement he adds "To the party I mean."

 

If there is one thing he can say for Dean it's that he always manages to surprise him. An invitation to the party is unprecedented, even as a gesture of apology, which is what he suspects. Dean, undoubtedly wants to emphasis that fact that there is no ill will between them.

 

Whatever the reason Castiel almost finds himself accepting the invitation, however they are not supposed to have an interference with their clients during the night after the transition.

 

Sensing his hesitation Dean adds "I want you to meet Sammy, I think you would hit it off. And I've kinda gotten used to having you around."

 

Castiel fights a smile at his words, realizing that the same is true for him, as preposterous as it sounds. After only one day, they've already become accustomed to each other's company.

 

"I would love to attend, however I am not sure it's allowed." he finally answers.

 

"What's not allowed?" Balthazar suddenly interrupts, sauntering into the kitchen. "Oh, Dean, Luci is ready for you in the bedroom. You boys have fun."

 

"One day I am going to kill you." Dean growls under his breath, before storming off to find Lucifer.

 

Balthazar gives him a cheery wave as he goes, then turns back to Castiel and prompts "Cassie?"

 

"Dean invited me to the party this evening. He wants to introduce me to his brother." Castiel answers, knowing that lying to Balthazar is a useless endeavor.

 

"Meeting the family already? He does move quickly." Balthazar quips with a grin.

 

"Balthazar, I would greatly appreciate it if you treated this matter with some degree of seriousness." Castiel remonstrates, though he'd predicted some sort of jest from Balthazar on the matter.

 

"Okay – okay." Balthazar concedes. "Do you want to go?"

 

"Yes." Castiel answers without hesitation. He would like nothing more than having time to mingle with Dean in a more casual environment and talk with Sam.

 

"There you go – problem solved." Balthazar answers with an easy shrug.

 

"You know it is not that simple." Castiel argues, growing frustrated with his friend's blasé attitude. "We're not allowed to interfere-"

 

"Then  _don't_." Balthazar interrupts. "Leave with us, show up late so you don't get roped into helping and then just chat and hang about like the other guests. Enjoying a party is not against the rules."

 

"No." Castiel agrees "But it's certainly bending them." He counters.

 

Balthazar rolls his eyes and groans " _Cassie_ , you deserve to have some fun. And all jesting aside, I think Dean is  _exactly_  the sort of fun you need."

 

Castiel searches his face, but finds nothing, save affectionate concern. Finally he concedes with a sigh "Very well, I'll go."

 

"The least you could do is seem excited by the prospect." Balthazar snarks.

 

"I am." Castiel insists, letting a slight smile turn the edges of his mouth.  _Too excited_ he thinks to himself, almost cursing Balthazar for talking him into it. His attraction to Dean has only been a hassle thus far, he can only imagine what might happen should a friendship develop.

 

"Cas! Save me!" A sudden cry from Dean comes from the bedroom. Balthazar shoots Castiel a grin before they hurry back to see what's going on.


End file.
